My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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