ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
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I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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