3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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