you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
