they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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