3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
