one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
