Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
