he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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