u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
