your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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