That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
