people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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