she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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