We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
