It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
