it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
