I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
