Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
wow bdsm is so cute
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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