I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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