i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We had sex on a dog bed..
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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