I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
