and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
