I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
40s are totally the cure
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize