he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
