I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize