at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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