Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
