Apparently you make a good broom.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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