yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
