For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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