just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
