So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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