i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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