I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
