Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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