she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?