the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
