I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
