I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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