would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
