I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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