im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
