i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And my parents said I crawled through the house
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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