I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
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