Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do vagina's smell?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
