oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
