Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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