He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
