the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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