Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
