dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
