Please, let me fuck your mom
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
