There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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