you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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