Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
As shirtless as possible
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
