# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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