Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you never un-have a 4some
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
