How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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