i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
