i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize