I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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