When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
