Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
