woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
