I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
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Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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